“Why are you staring at me? Can’t sleep either?” Gu Pan met the gaze of Scarlett Johansson on the wall.
The character of Natasha Romanoff, played by the beautiful woman, had long been a totem in Yu Yan’s heart. The “black” in the name of Black Widow symbolized a hidden dark past in Yu Yan’s eyes. The mysterious power possessed by the female superhero represented the young girl’s desire for her own limitless strength.
Yu Yan spent a month turning the beautiful woman in the pattern into a cross-stitch portrait, which she hung on her bedroom wall.
In the beginning, she struggled to choose between the gold hair and red hair options. In reality, she had seen photos of Scarlett Johansson with both hair colors. The actress was stunning and could effortlessly pull off any hair color. However, Yu Yan had a preference for the combination of black skin-tight combat suits and red hair.
Among the various poster images, she selected the one that captured her favorite body posture and appearance. Unfortunately, the blonde hair depicted in the picture conflicted with her aesthetic, causing her much distress.
“Yan, just use red hair! Use whichever you like,” He suggested.
“I can’t be so casual about it!”
“Why not? It’s just a DIY project, can’t you follow your heart?”
“Of course not. If you understood the significance she holds in my heart, you wouldn’t say that.”
Gu Pan ceased speaking and obediently returned to his room, leaning against the door crack to watch Yu Yan pick up and put down the red and gold threads on the living room sofa.
Later, after much deliberation, Yu Yan finally decided on giving the only female superhero on the wall in the Marvel Universe poster a golden hair color. In this matter, Yan did not follow her inner desires but remained faithful to the original character design. To Gu Pan, this decision seemed like one of the few compromises Yu Yan made. He knew there must be a special significance or “weight” behind it. However, he never had the chance to hear an explanation until that day in early March.
Finally, Gu Pan’s eyes met with the woman with golden hair until they grew sore.
He pressed the electronic clock on Yu Yan’s desk, illuminating it. The time displayed was 12:15 in the middle night.
Around the same time the previous day, the light had already become quite dim. Gu Pan hadn’t expected the dwindling battery to last until today.
There is one final exam left in the semester. With less than five hours of sleep each day, Gu Pan managed to pass five exams in a row. He figured out a routine. After studying until 11 o’clock, if he couldn’t fall asleep within half an hour of getting into bed, he would come to Yu Yan’s room and sit or stand for a while. He should be able to fall asleep before 1 am.
These methods worked in the past few days. Today shouldn’t be an exception.
However, sleep disorders are really unpleasant. They make people restless, palpitate, and thirsty, constantly wanting to drink water. Drinking too much water then leads to frequent trips to the bathroom. It’s so uncomfortable. He must find a more effective treatment room than Yan’s bedroom.
With just a few hours left until the last exam, Gu Pan decided to visit the community center on the second floor before leaving A City for a vacation.
2
The door of the "Mind Oxygen Bar" is open. Going up the corner stairs, you can see the brightness of that room casting onto the corridor floor.
Gu Pan has booked a ticket to return to his hometown at 2 PM. At 9 AM, he arrived on time at the place where he was previously given the cold shoulder. Of course, the most memorable part of that day was encountering Ling Hanlu and enjoying a serving of her heartfelt Indonesian fried rice.
At the entrance of the "Mind Oxygen Bar," a large umbrella with big leaves stands. It resembles a welcoming lady with abundant hair and a serene face. Due to its vigorous growth, with branches and leaves flourishing, it blocks a small part of the indoor scenery.
“Dr. Su” is right in the blocked-off area.
Gu Pan lightly knocked on the door, and from inside came a low-frequency, gentle voice saying, “Please come in!”
He took about five steps inside and saw the source of the voice. In front of a desk positioned to the left of the room, a man finished typing on the keyboard and looked up.
“Please have a seat!”
Gu Pan knew exactly why he was there. But sitting face-to-face with a stranger in an unfamiliar space, he needed someone to provide a needed spark.
"Let me introduce myself, my last name is Su. Chi Yuan Su. Welcome to the Mind Oxygen Bar!"
"Dr. Su, How do you do !" Gu Pan adjusted his posture, straightening his back and shoulders.
"I'm sorry, please allow me to correct your earlier address..."
"Hmm?" Gu Pan couldn't help but feel more uneasy, quickly considering what might be wrong with calling him "doctor."
"Oh, relax. Hehe, what I mean is, you're not a patient, but a seeker of help. So there's no need to call me 'doctor'." Su Chi Yuan lightly adjusted his glasses and, at the right moment, let his eyebrows and eyes relax, making his smile more apparent.
"Well... Mr. Su. Is that okay?"
"Hehe, I've encountered this negotiation of address with other seekers before. Actually, it's not a big problem at all. Whatever makes you comfortable! Feel free!"
"Alright. Mr. Su."
"Tell me, what can I help you with?"
Seeing that Gu Pan still seemed a bit hesitant, Su Chi Yuan suggested moving to a more comfortable conversation area. It was closer to the floor-to-ceiling window, allowing them to be closer to the bright scenery outside.
"I can't sleep."
Gu Pan recounted his recent struggles with sleep disturbances during the night. He mentioned the slight anxiety before exams and the mindset of winning or losing when he couldn't fully master certain subjects. He also told Su Chi Yuan about his daily schedule and the action of seeking solace in the neighboring room when he couldn't find peaceful sleep.
Su Chi Yuan and Gu Pan were separated by a small round glass coffee table with a diameter of about one meter. During the listening process, he kept his gaze on the young man in front of him, whose fingers were constantly interlocking and opening. He encouraged the young man to express himself in detail with a smile, nodding, and a soft "okay" that almost equaled a sigh. At the same time, his pen moved occasionally. Several lines of concise text appeared on a blank sheet of paper, becoming Gu Pan's case record.
"Is that all ?" Su Chiyan adjusted his sitting position on the circular sofa, relaxing slightly compared to when he first entered. He realized that the young seeker wanted to hear the counselor's response.
"More or less," he replied.
"Can I speak candidly?" the seeker asked.
"Of course," Su Chiyan responded.
"I believe you have already taken proactive and effective strategies to address your so-called insomnia. Perhaps you're not aware of it, such as getting up and spending some time in a different environment before returning to bed, which helps you fall asleep. This approach is very calm and wise. So, overcoming temporary sleep disturbances is just a matter of time. Truly, there's no need to worry excessively."
Su Chiyuan glanced at the clock. The counseling session had been going on for approximately twenty minutes.
Compared to the other cases he had encountered, the issues this young man faced hardly qualified as "problems." The accumulation of his mental turmoil, depression, desperation, and self-harm... led him to view Gu Pan's experience as an inspiring story of overcoming insomnia, which he found rather endearing.
Su Chiyuan had no intention of charging for his services, indicating that his assistance to the young man was genuinely offered.
Su Chiyuan smiled, and Gu Pan responded with a smile as well.
In response, Gu Pan perceived that Su Chiyuan did not intend to rely on his professional knowledge to help solve his problems. He sensed that the conversation was likely to conclude abruptly, leaving him feeling disappointed.
However, in his brief conversation with Su Chiyuan, Gu Pan did not leave empty-handed. At the very least, he gained a sense of unexpected comfort that he hadn't anticipated before. Su Chiyuan had a certain kind of charm. Despite the scarcity of words, his impeccable posture, expressions, and timely responses unconsciously built a sense of trust within Gu Pan. However, despite this, his strong plea as a seeker to overcome his sleep troubles was somewhat overlooked.
"Perhaps the real purpose of your visit today is to talk about something else?" Su Chiyuan sensed Gu Pan's disappointment.
"I don't have a purpose." Gu Pan's hands involuntarily crossed and tightened on his lap.
"Heh, alright. If there's something on your mind that you'd like to get off your chest, I'm willing to listen."
"...Mr. Su, I feel like I might harm someone." Gu Pan finished speaking, his mouth half open, as if encouraging the part of his soul that lacked brightness to quickly escape through his lips. He slumped against the backrest of the sofa, turning his face towards the window, gazing at the limited sky due to the towering buildings.
"Hmm, take your time and tell me more."
3
The counseling session came to an end. Su Chiyuan escorted Gu Pan downstairs. Since joining the "Mind oxygen bar " he had rarely been so hesitant when saying goodbye to a client.
But today, Su Chiyuan acted differently.
In reality, the "harm" that this young man, who had just expressed his desire to cause harm, was talking about seemed to be nothing more than confusion arising from the emergence of affection. In Su Chiyuan's perspective, it was just a misjudgment on his part due to the boy's young age and limited experiences.
Just like the so-called "insomnia," both were temporary confusions. Time can resolve them.
Just a moment ago, Gu Pan left the counseling room. Su Chiyuan moved back to his desk from the conversation area. He noticed a flipped-over information sheet with a few lines of flowing handwriting, so he turned it over to read.
In the empty spaces that most visitors chose to leave blank, Gu Pan had unexpectedly filled in some content during the initial conversation gap. That sense of strict honesty, reminiscent of a diligent student, in Su Chiyuan's eyes, revealed a touch of innocence and naivety.
However, upon seeing the words written on that piece of paper - "School of Management, Tourism Management, freshman... likes Taylor Swift, dislikes eating bamboo shoots..." - he couldn't help but let out a "Hmm?" through his nostrils, followed by a sharp intake of breath. At the same time, he felt as if he had been instantly pulled into a deep well leading to a different dimension. The bone-chilling coldness in that well forced his brows to furrow and his fingertips to tremble. Finally, feeling restless, he stood up abruptly. Seizing the opportunity while the young man hadn't gone far, he chased after him.
He sprinted down the hallway, completely forgetting the composure and steadiness expected of a thirty-year-old lawyer and part-time counselor. He caught up with Gu Pan, and the two of them descended the stairs together. They reached the fountain in front of the building. Amidst the intermittent splashing sounds of water, most of Su Chiyuan's words were muffled. Gu Pan only heard snippets like "Feel free to contact me," "No need to worry," and "This is my contact information"...
Gu Pan tucked the piece of paper into his backpack.
In just a few short minutes, Su Chiyuan's attitude rapidly changed, and this was a unique gift that Gu Pan received before his brief departure from City A.
With joy and confusion, he returned to his apartment to pack his belongings.
He took out the blue soft-cover notebook from the drawer. Flipping through the pages, he looked at the black-inked words and colorful underlines. After finishing, he snapped it shut and put it back.
Then, Gu Pan tidied up Yu Yan's bedroom. He opened the curtains and closed them again. There was some dust on Scarlett Johansson's beautiful face, so he lightly dusted it off... Then, he backed out of the bedroom, closing the door behind him.