Chapter 47

  Lu Yitong stood by the door, looking strangely out of place, almost like a completely different person.

  Gu Pan unlocked the door and flicked on the lights. “Come on in, let’s chat,” he said, waving her inside.

  “Gu Pan, I brought you some scallion oil pastries,” Lu Yitong announced, grabbing the plastic bag she had perched on the shoe cabinet. “They’re from this little alley behind our university. Gao’s shop has the best ones. They’re really best when they’re fresh… but, you know, with the travel time and you coming home late. But you can reheat them in a pan, and they’ll taste just as good. I can do it for you…” She didn’t finish her sentence before darting off to the kitchen.

  Gu Pan saw this as her unique way of breaking the ice. He knew she had come prepared for this talk. Whatever happened, they needed to get everything out in the open today.

  He let her play house in his apartment, busying herself like a homemaker. He sat down on one end of the couch, leaving the other end for her.

  A few minutes later, the delicious smell of sesame and scallion filled the air. She handed him a warm, flaky pastry, nearly crumbling from its crispy layers.

  “Do you like it?” Lu Yitong asked, tilting her head, watching him with hopeful eyes as he took a bite.

  “Mmm… it’s good,” Gu Pan replied, chewing slowly and carefully, almost as if he expected to find a secret note or a coin inside the pastry.

  “Don’t worry about the crumbs. Just enjoy it. I’ll clean up later,” Lu Yitong said, mistaking his cautious eating for concern about making a mess.

  “I’m not worried,” Gu Pan said, and then, to prove his point, he took a big, satisfying bite and chewed with gusto.

  “See? Isn’t it better to take big bites? ... Can you guess why I brought these over?”

  “Aren’t these the most popular snacks from your school? You’re just spreading the word, right?”

  “Well, there’s actually another reason. But I’m not sure if you’re ready to hear it,” Lu Yitong said, glancing at the pastry and then back at Gu Pan, her eyes twinkling with a mix of excitement and hesitation.

  “Spill it, isn’t that why you’re here?”

  “Well, okay then! This pastry… it kinda reminds me of Teacher Ling.”

  “Huh?” Gu Pan nearly dropped the pastry. He was thrown by the odd comparison. But thinking from Lu Yitong's perspective, he could get why a girl might have such a skewed view of a "rival" and use such a blunt metaphor. “Wait, you’re saying she has a face like this pastry? That’s not fair…”

  “Not her face, her figure. She’s flat as a pancake.”

  “I… um… ha, ha ha… hahaha…” Gu Pan glanced at the pastry in his hand, trying to figure out if Lu Yitong was being mean, joking, or just thinking outside the box. He couldn’t help but laugh, though his laughter was mixed with memories of the awkward sofa incident. Honestly, she wasn’t entirely wrong.

  “What’s so funny, Gu Pan? Seriously, I’m not mocking her, and I didn’t mean anything bad.”

  “It’s fine.”

  “Believe it or not, I don’t even dislike Ling Hanlu.”

  “Keep going,” Gu Pan said, bracing himself for something completely unexpected.

  “Do you know why I brought that DSLR the other day? I wanted to really see her, to study her. Because you’re worth it. I needed to understand what makes the woman you love so special. Is she stunning? Does she have a great body? Is it her aura? I zoomed in on those photos until they were just pixels, and the more I zoomed, the more hopeless I felt. The more flaws I saw on her face and body, the more hopeless I felt. Just like you said—you can’t explain why you love someone, and this kind of love... it doesn’t make sense.”

  “I believe you. Thank you for being honest.”

  “But… does she even like you back?”

  “…” Gu Pan remained silent.

  “Is that a no, or you just don’t know?” Lu Yitong gently took the half-eaten pastry from Gu Pan’s hand. “Look, I’m not here to tell you to rethink your feelings just so I can sneak in. Fine, I’ll admit, I’m not thrilled about it. I know I came off as scheming, talking in circles, pretending to be naive while trying to outsmart you... That was because I thought maybe, just maybe, I could get you to like me. But you didn’t fall for it. Trying so hard to win over someone who doesn’t feel the same way? It’s a bitter pill to swallow.”

  “Yeah, your tactics back then were pretty surprising.”

  “Tactics... I get it now. They didn’t work, especially with Ling Hanlu actually in the picture. I admit, back in that lecture hall, I wondered what it would be like to turn into one of those villainous second leads from movies or dramas. Honestly, most women could play that role if they really tried. But Ling Hanlu... she’s like she’s got this divine aura around her. Even so, I couldn’t resist calling Auntie that day, trying to use her favoritism for one last desperate attempt.”

  “Your honesty today really surprises me,” Gu Pan said, rubbing his hands together, brushing off the crumbs and oil.

  “I don’t want you to think I’m worthless,” Lu Yitong said, her head dipping to hide her tearful eyes. “I’m the pride of my parents too. I don’t want you to think their daughter is so disgraceful.”

  “You’re being too hard on yourself. Really, I…”

  “This apartment,” Lu Yitong said, looking around, “I don’t know if I’ll ever come back here. If we’ll ever have another chance to talk like this… I have two questions. Can you clear them up for me, face to face?”

  “I’ll do my best.”

  "I mean, about your mom. Auntie Li treats me so well, it's almost shocking. I don't think I'm that impressive, but she dotes on me like nobody's business. Can you believe it? I feel like I'm her precious gem, you know? My presence gives her peace, makes her feel secure. Am I like a lucky charm to her? A talisman, a magic wand? You once said Auntie has her reasons for favoring someone. So, tell me, what's the deal?"

  "The talisman, the magic wand... You're right on the money. It's because my mom is superstitious, all into birth charts, yin and yang, and all that. Anything that brings her good luck, she's all about."

  "Ah, that makes sense now." Lu Yitong nodded, her lips forming a slight smile, clearly satisfied with the answer.

  "Anything else you want to ask?" Gu Pan leaned back on the sofa, indicating he was open to further discussion.

  "Yeah, about that blue notebook in your desk drawer. Remember those entries on 'chance encounters,' 'conquests,' 'partings'? Were those based on real people? Did you ever continue writing it? Did you have an ending planned or were you letting it unfold naturally?"

  "I stopped writing it. Planning to start fresh. The old story was too contrived, too strategic. And it had some dark, narrow-minded ideas embedded in it. Let it go!" The young man's words carried a carefree tone.

  "Was it influenced by your state of mind back then?"

  "Somewhat."

  "What do you mean by 'dark, narrow-minded'?"

  "A twisted take on gratitude, paying debts, and binding ties."

  "Ah... You must have written quite a bit already. Isn't it a shame to scrap it? Can't it be revised?"

  "No revisions. The tone's set, the core's there. Any changes would just be polishing. It needs a fresh start."

  "Alright, looking forward to it. You'll let me read it, won't you? You're not that stingy, are you?"

  Gu Pan glanced at Lu Yitong, then down at the half-eaten cookie on the coffee table. This girl had brought his 'rival' to hand over to his beloved, witnessing them kiss and make up. The strange yet endearing symbolism in all this puzzled him. Yet, hearing Lu Yitong speak again somehow didn't annoy him as much. He sensed a hint of self-deprecation in her words.

  "Yeah, I won't be stingy."

  "Oh, and can I still tag along to Ling Hanlu's class with you in the future? I promise no DSLR, no turkey outfits."

  "It's tough to wrap my head around." The young man couldn't fathom what joy Lu Yitong found in this situation. Shouldn't her involvement just add to the frustration?

  "I get why you're puzzled. Heh, you might not believe this, but sometimes I feel like I prefer her over you."

  "..." Gu Pan definitely didn't buy that.

  "But don't get me wrong. She might just be one of those 'men adore, women admire' types. I really like her!"

  Lu Yitong talked non-stop for an hour. During that time, Gu Pan brewed her tea and refilled her water twice.

  Before leaving, Lu Yitong scrubbed the frying pan clean, tidied up the kitchen and living room. She rolled up Gu Pan's dark green lawn mat and placed it neatly in the sofa's corner, saying it was a shared space and she had to consider her roommate's feelings.

  "Okay," Gu Pan replied.

  "Gu Pan, I don't want this to feel like goodbye." Lu Yitong walked towards the door, suddenly turned around, and hugged Gu Pan tightly. "Remember when we kissed? Outside the grand theater, on that small path?"

  "Of course. I'm sorry." Gu Pan felt a rush of nervousness, even a sense of impending doom.

  "I even thought about using that as leverage against you. If I did, would you have given in?"

  "In the past, maybe. Not now."

  "Why? What changed?"

  "Principles. A friend taught me something. I admit the kiss was wrong, and I'm willing to face the consequences. It's your call!" Gu Pan stood tall, unwavering.

  "But I don't think it was wrong." Lu Yitong buried her face in Gu Pan's chest for a moment, then sneakily kissed his rising chest muscle before pulling back decisively. "Okay, I should go!"

  As she passed by that perpetually closed mysterious room door, she couldn't resist stealing a glance.

  "Gu Pan, hey!"

  "Yeah?"

  "Has your roommate never changed? It's always been him?" Lu Yitong nodded towards the door, curiosity prompting her to ask just before she left.

  "Yeah, never changed. But he's moving out soon." Gu Pan lightly traced his fingers along the door frame. He then glanced down, feeling less sincere compared to Lu Yitong today. Someone not straightforward enough doesn't deserve to meet another's gaze.

  "Oh. Is he easy to get along with? Am I a bother to him?" Lu Yitong's eyes sparkled with anticipation.

  "You're not bothering him at all right now, honestly."

  "Ah... goodness, I can't keep going like this... My legs feel like jelly, can't take another step. Okay, really leaving now!" She shook her head, letting her thick bangs fall neatly over her eyes. Blocking what needed to be blocked, hiding what she wanted to hide.

  Just before departing, she couldn't resist turning her head for one last look. That door, to her, was like Platform Nine and Three-Quarters leading to a magical world. She always felt diving in would reveal a different kind of world.

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